Beirut : For Nadia Bou Ali and Mahmoud Natout, a religious marriage was never an option. Not only do they come from different faiths - Bou Ali, 22, is Druze and Natout, 33, is Sunni - but neither is particularly religious, either. "If you’re not religious, why get married in an institution you don’t believe in ?" asks Bou Ali, a graduate student at the American University of Beirut (AUB).
Because marriages in Lebanon are governed by religion-based family law, a couple may only wed legally in a church or mosque. If the partners are of different religions, one of them - usually the woman - must convert. This creates obvious problems for inter-religious couples and their families. Those who do not want to convert - whatever the reason - do have options, as Lebanon recognizes civil marriages that take place outside the country. The laws of that country then dictate procedure in cases of dispute, divorce and inheritance.
This option has compelled thousands of Lebanese couples to travel to nearbyCyprus, where marriage laws are lax and weddings are affordable. This was the case with Bou Ali and Natout, who took the short flight to the nearby island for their wedding last year.
Given the ongoing political deadlock in Lebanon, the issue of civil marriage has never seemed further from the agenda, especially considering the fact that Parliament has not convened since November. But even if buried below the surface, the topic still remains relevant, particularly in the peak wedding season of summer.
Civil marriage is permitted in many countries in the region, from Turkey to Tunisia, but it has always been out of the question in Lebanon. The ban also holds in Jordan, Syria and, curiously enough, Israel, where couples seeking nonreligious ceremonies are also forced to travel abroad. Bou Ali laughs when she recalls her civil marriage in Cyprus and the incongruous images of Lebanese and Israeli couples seated side-by-side in a waiting room.
Efforts to legalize civil marriage in Lebanon have existed since the early 1950s, but they have always faced strong opposition. In 1998 a reform bill introduced by then-President Elias Hrawi was passed by Cabinet only to be vetoed by Prime Minister Rafik Hariri. Protesters organized rallies in response to the bill’s failure and several private companies launched media campaigns promoting civil marriage in Lebanon, but to no avail. In 2002 human-rights activists and an alliance of MPs reignited the debate, again without success.
Critics insist that a law legalizing civil marriage will never pass because influential religious leaders resist any move toward secularization, which would mitigate their power and facilitate inter-religious unions. The system of marriage as it stands in Lebanon is designed to keep couples of different faiths apart, critics say, thus perpetuating the separation of religions that is the basis of Lebanon’s sectarian system.
Marriages are also an important source of income for sheikhs and priests, and allowing nonreligious services would deprive them of revenue. Divorces are lucrative, too, and among Christians they can cost tens of thousands of dollars. Parliamentarians have so far bowed to pressure from religious leaders continuing to block attempts at legalizing civil marriages.
According to Hilal Khashan, professor of political science and public administration at AUB, the institution of civil law in Lebanon is not a likely prospect. "Sectarianism is the only institution in Lebanon, and any attempt toward secularization would mean the erosion of the whole system," he said. "The political implications of secularism in Lebanon would be devastating. The entire political system is opposed to it."
On the contrary, activists in favor of civil marriage say its legalization could only have a positive impact on the Lebanese public.
Besides encouraging mixed marriages in a country suffering from deep sectarian divides, the introduction of civil marriages would put an end to the institutionalized sexism of religious marriages, they say. Civil unions would introduce gender equality into marriages that now favor men in terms of inheritance, child custody and divorce. A move away from religious marriages would also deprive religious leaders of their power over unions and the financial gains they make.
For Bou Ali, who says she did not want to get married "by an old man with a beard," there are no regrets about foregoing a religious ceremony. "There was no way I was going to stand some religious institution giving me the right to be with the man I love," she says.
Yet not everyone is as sure as Bou Ali. Opinions over the legalization of civil marriage remain mixed among the Lebanese public. Although no recent statistics exist, a poll conducted in 1998 by Information International showed that 57.3 percent of Lebanese were opposed to the legalization of civil marriage. The numbers shifted, however, according to different religious affiliations and age groups. More than half (52.2 percent) of people surveyed between 15 to 24 years old were in favor of passing a civil-marriage law, but the number decreased steadily among older groups.
Maronite and Orthodox Christians were the only religious groups where the largest number of respondents favored the availability of civil marriages, with 52.6 percent and 47.7 percent in favor, respectively. The reverse was true among the Shiite, Druze and Sunni communities, where the majority of respondents were against civil unions.
For mixed couples who do want to marry outside a church or mosque, civil ceremonies abroad remain the best option. Indeed, Cyprus has made efforts to facilitate the process of civil marriages in response to the large influx of foreigners who travel to the island to tie the knot. There is a whole industry catering to foreigners who go to Cyprus to wed, which includes travel agents, wedding planners, florists, restaurateurs and car-rental companies.
The official Cyprus tourism Web site details the procedure and costs of marrying in the country and boasts of "convenient marriage laws and spectacular wedding locations" in a "very relaxed, peaceful and friendly" atmosphere. Couples need only prepare a few documents establishing their identities and marital status in order to apply.
The process is streamlined and fast, with couples getting married first thing in the morning, then stopping at the Cypriot Justice and Foreign ministries to register with the Cypriot authorities, then to their country’s embassy to register there. If a couple starts the process at 8 a.m. they can finish by the early afternoon. Because Cyprus is a 20-minute flight from Beirut, the whole procedure can be done in one day.
In Cyprus a couple can marry for less than $1,000 - a small sum compared to mounting wedding prices in Lebanon - including airfare, a hotel stay and permits, which cost from $200-$400.
The process is made easier if a couple employs a company to make all the arrangements and handle the paperwork for a fee of about $1,500, including hotel and airfare. These companies also provide transportation between all the necessary stops and give the couple a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of local champagne. Guenady Ragi, a travel agent at Nadia Travel, who organizes wedding packages to Cyprus, claims he sends more than 200 Lebanese couples to the island per year.
But the simplest way, according to many, would be for Lebanon to legalize civil marriages via an overhaul of the sectarian system of family law. Even though it is always a hot topic, and there are civil society and human rights groups working on the issue, many foresee a long time passing before civil marriages become legal in Lebanon. "I guess it’s not a priority here. Eventually it will be," says Bou Ali, optimistically.
RSS 2.0